We all have to deal with tough times. Sometimes small things build up and nothing goes right and we feel like we could just explode. That’s a “bad hair day”! Then there is real adversity and hardship when bad and sad things happen, which we call “the dark night”. What do you do in times like these?

In previous blogs dealing with the principles of building resilience we have covered the two inner core principles of Connect to your meaning and purpose in life and Use your unique strengths. We then outlined the three principles which deal with the inner world of thoughts, feelings and attitude, which are: Maintain perspective; Generate positive feelings and Be realistically optimistic.

This blog concerns the first of the two final principles which deal with the adversity and the external world. This sixth principle of building resilience is: Persevere by being open minded and flexible

Dealing with adversity inevitably requires some action or some change in difficult circumstances. Thus it is important in building resilience to be persistent, tenacious and not allow you’re self to consider giving up.

Perseverance is however a double-edged sword. On the one hand, too little perseverance means we succumb or become disabled by the adversity. We all have experienced how seductive, easy and even tempting it is during really tough times to surrender to inactivity, stupor and defeat, and simply give up. On the other hand, an excess of perseverance results in a blinkered and bull-headed approach typically with a fixed mindset; not listening; having tunnel vision; and using brute force to drive toward resolution to the adversity. In such cases it is often “action for the sake of action” with little or no time for creative thinking or reflecting. The consequence of both too much and too little perseverance is often poor decisions with their own unintended negative consequences.

Resilience in dealing with adversity requires open-mindedness and a flexible problem solving approach, allowing for listening, consideration of differing views and being open to a change of tactics or even strategy.

This principle of building resilience of persevering by being open minded and flexible is illustrated by the different courses of actions of two pharmacists who owned and managed separate pharmacies approximately three kilometres apart, and who had to cope with the implications of the promulgation of radically changed legislation controlling the exit prices charged on prescription medication. The implication for them of this new legislation was there would be at the very least dramatically reduced profit, and at worst bankruptcy.

The first pharmacist dealt with this adversity by advocating for changes in the legalisation through the local chapter of the pharmaceutical association, and then later at national level, and was instrumental in getting court interdicts to stop and ultimately alter the legislation. While this was going on over many months, he changed his pharmacy’s focus to become more retail orientated to take advantage of the increasing local tourist trade. He now has the highest turnover of sun-screen protection sales in his geographical region, and makes more profit from the retail side of the business than he did from the sales of prescription medication in the past.

The second pharmacist faced the identical adversity but reacted with less open mindedness and flexibility. He tried to boost sales by getting more repeat business from his existing client base by means of mailed flyers; lowering the prices of some of his non-prescription lines; and introducing motor-cycle delivery to customers. However, he felt that these actions were not very creative and would not have the desired effect. Over time he became increasingly despondent as his worst fears were borne out. He stopped introducing new ideas, and eventually sold the business at a low figure to a national retail chain. With great relief he then took early retirement.

The actions these individuals took differed dramatically, even though the adversity they faced was identical and their circumstances were remarkably similar. The first pharmacist persevered over several years with creativity and lateral thinking and was ultimately successful; the second allowed the adversity to overwhelm his thinking and natural optimism, and ultimately almost crushed him.

Meditation and centering can help create inner calm enabling open-mindedness and flexibility. There are many methods to achieve this calm. A simple yet very effective exercise is to close your eyes and become aware of your breathing, and then to concentrate on slowing your breathing. Then as you inhale, to silently say, "let", and as you exhale, to silently say "go"……. while also relaxing tense body muscles. For many people, this exercise enables the release of emotional stress and physical tension.

What is your most effective way of dealing with “bad hair days”? Will that help you also cope with the “dark night” events which we all face sooner or later?

Tags: Perseverence, resilience, Resilience Principles, Training resilience
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This is the fifth blog in the series about the principles of building resilience. It has its origin in the research we carried out on resilience and the training based on these principles which is designed to assist people build their resilience. Delegates report the training builds their inner resourcefulness and enables them to live more joyful and fulfilling lives.

The fourth Building Resilience Principle is “Generate positive feelings”. Adversity typically involves strong negative emotions which have the potential to hijack rational thought and so reduce resilience. Fear, anger, guilt and grief are commonly experienced during the “dark night” of real adversity. These negative emotions are associated with surges in adrenaline and cortisol (the “stress hormone”) which prepare the body for the dramatic and life preserving fight, flight or freeze responses. In modern times however, the associated physical reactions are seldom useful and if experienced for a prolonged period, can have negative physical impacts.

Negative feelings are in themselves not “bad” as they convey important messages about the severity of the adversity. In excess however, they can lead to substantially reduced mental and even physical functionality and thus the capability to deal with the adversity: thinking and decision-making become impaired; sleeping, eating and relaxing become difficult.

The need to control strong feelings was highlighted in our research by a single parent mother of a 14 year old son who was living in a gang infested part of the Cape Flats area of Cape Town. She described him as having been “an ideal child” doing well at school, having good friends, attending church with her and helping out in their small apartment. Then seemingly out of the blue she one day realized that his behaviour had changed, he was missing school and mixing with a different group of friends. On investigation, she discovered he was taking tik (a highly addictive amphetamine drug). She described her initial emotions as a mixture of extreme anger, fear, depression, hurt, guilt and disappointment. Confronting the boy and getting him into rehabilitation required her to not succumb to these powerful feelings, which she did with guidance from her employer’s Employee Assistance Programme. Once she had mastered her fears, she was able to deal rationally with the boy and got him to successfully undergo a drug rehabilitation programme.

Strategies to deal with strong personal negative emotions include deep breathing, taking time out, positive self talk (although recent studies have indicated that simply reciting affirmations can in some cases do more harm than good) and meditation.

Controlling negative feelings is the first step; generating positive feelings needed for resilience to bounce back is the next. Positive feelings are effectively created by connecting to one’s purpose and meaning in life, using one’s strengths and reaching out to others. In addition, there are two exercises we have found useful in generating genuine positive feelings. One is a savouring exercise which involves reflecting daily on three good things which you have done each day and their impact on others. The second is a written exercise which requires creating a journal of your best possible outcomes in the future using topics such as loving relationships; career; finances; physical; faith; health; hobbies and so on. Both exercises typically result in enhanced feelings of excitement and joy in living a life of involvement and potential.

The implication for you is simple: what is the most effective way you control your negative feelings and in addition, what is the most effective way you generate positive feelings? Your resilience depends on how effectively you do this!

Tags: Building Resilience, Building Resilience Principles, Personal resilience, resilience, tough times
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This is the fourth short article in the series about the principles of building resilience. It has its origin in the research we carried out on resilience and the training based on these principles which is designed to assist people build their resilience. Delegates report the training builds their inner resourcefulness and enables them to live more joyful and fulfilling lives.

The third principle of building resilience is: Maintain perspective and concerns the inner world of one’s thoughts. It is particularly important because as a species we are programmed from our past to be more alert for negative than positive. This negative focus was very useful in providing narrow, fixed and detailed focus when confronted by a sabre-toothed lion or marauding tribes on the veld of ancient Africa, but is less helpful in finding creative solutions to modern day adversities which require open, creative and flexible thinking. In today’s’ world, this ancient negative bias sometimes intrudes into our lives as unwelcome strong and persistent negative thoughts. One person described this ruminating negative thought pattern to be: “like in a washing machine … going round and round … then pausing …. and then going round and round again; on and on”.

To build resilience, negatively biased thinking and persistent negative self talk can be reframed. This can be done by finding alternative ways of thinking about the problem or event, such as how one can learn from it, or how one can accept it. Other ways of reframing are to choose milder and less calamitous ways of expressing the adversity, or to change the statements that run through one’s mind into questions, and then focus your thoughts on finding answers to the questions.

Some people find that changing their behaviour changes their negative thought bias and thinking patterns. Examples are exercising; talking with supportive friends; eating a favourite food such as chocolate or ice-cream; shopping; going to movies; reading a novel; partying. Not all these activities will reduce everyone’s negative thinking – the challenge is to find what works for you. The outcome should be distraction from the stress of the adversity, recharging energy and then returning with renewed vigour to deal with the stress and difficulties.

It is also useful where possible to avoid or minimise situations which trigger persistent negative thoughts. Examples we were given of situations to avoid were of particular events (e.g. a stressful monthly family get together), people (e.g. negative colleagues or difficult clients) and physical conditions (e.g. tiredness and being hungry). Alternatively, challenging negativism in others, such as negative statements and opinions that are unfounded, biased, or open to interpretation may also be a useful way of controlling one’s own negative thoughts in order to maintain perspective.

A final element of this principle of building resilience is maintaining perspective by engaging in enjoyable, relaxing and recharging activities. Taking steps to change the scenery, pace and people around one can provide a counterbalance to the intense demands and naturally narrowing thought focus when dealing with adversity. This was variously expressed as “taking time out for myself”; “having me-time”; and “taking time to smell the roses”.

What is your most effective method of maintaining perspective in tough time so as to be resilient?

Tags: Add new tag, Building Resilience, resilience, Resilience Research, Retrenchment, Retrenchment strategies
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I have frequently been asked to write a blog on what people can do to enhance their resilience: “tell us what practically we can do, and base it on your research!” has been the request. The research has been written up by Prof. Kurt April of University of Cape Town Graduate School of Business and I, which we aim to have published in an overseas academic journal, but that takes time.

In order to meet the requests for practical ideas on resilience, I will use this blog. Thus once a week for the next seven weeks, I will post a short description of each principle and include brief practical information on how to enhance your resilience in that area.

The seven principles are:
1. Connect to your purpose and meaning in life
2. Use your unique strengths
3. Maintain perspective
4. Generate positive feelings
5. Be realistically optimistic
6. Persevere by being open minded and flexible
7. Reach out to others

This blog is the introduction and starts with the context which is the turbulent times in which we live and during which the research was carried out.

Employees at all levels need to have inner strength and resourcefulness to cope with large scale organizational change, such as new priorities, major change initiatives, new technologies, mergers and downsizing. Outside of work, these individuals also have to cope with the “normal” stresses of daily life such as troubled relationships, financial pressures, security concerns, serious illness and death of loved ones.

We all have experience of people reacting differently to adversity, and even as individuals we ourselves react differently to adversity at different times: sometimes with resilience and cope, and other times with less resilience and really struggle to get through the day. The question arises: why do some people succumb to adversity or become disabled by it, whilst others overcome significant adversity, heal and are able to strive towards self actualisation and flourishing?

To find the answers and to understand resilience better, the research into resilience involved critical incident and focus group interviews with South Africans at work asking how they deal with adversity. The outcomes were exciting. We found resilience in an organizational setting enables one to remain task focused and productive whilst experiencing tough times. Resilient individuals are best able to resist stressful experiences impacting on their job productivity, remain focussed, deal with multiple demands, and stay calm and healthy. Resilience enables “bouncing back” after stressful organisational and life events and incorporates the intriguing concept of emerging from the adversity stronger and more resourceful.

From the research we have extrapolated seven principles for building personal resilience and four steps for reacting resiliently in the face of adversity. These principles and steps are useful for anyone who wants to build their resilience, live a more joyful and fulfilling life and ultimately flourish. Most importantly, training using these concepts has been shown statistically to enhance resilience which is sustained over time.

In other words, applying these principles in your life has the potential for you to be able to enhance your resilience too. Good news indeed!

A brief description of each of these principles will be outlined in successive blogs over the coming weeks.
 

Tags: practical advice, principles, resilience, steps
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Being retrenched is inevitably felt as a devastating blow which affects not only the salary earner, but also dependents, and the wider circle of family and friends. Even worse, when a plant or factory closes, whole communities are suddenly at risk. This is the environment we are facing.

So what should you do when you get the news everyone fears – “so sorry for all your hard work and many years of service, but we are retrenching you”? What practical steps can you take when you yourself are retrenched?
Alternatively, what can you do when someone close to you has been retrenched? What advice can you give?

Very useful advice is given on the web site: http://www.jobprofiles.org/library/job-search/100-creative-painless-ways-to-downsize-life.htm. It details 100 positive suggestions under headings of: around the house; physical and mental health; useful hobbies to learn; financial changes and so on.

Another way is building resilience through community activities. Many useful suggestions are given on the web site: http://munnecke.com/blog/?p=299

The message is to do something and preferably do several of the things suggested on these web sites. If you have been retrenched, you need to deal with the implications. Start by talking to your loved ones and community.

If you have friends and loved ones who have been retrenched, talk to them about how they feel, and what they are doing to cope with their changed circumstances. Reach out to them. Get involved with them and their plans. You will help them, and if you yourself have been retrenched, you may find that helping others in some strange ways actually helps you. It did for me.

Tags: Add new tag, resilience, Retrenchment, Retrenchment strategies, tough times
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