Myth 3: Resilient people are normally more pessimistic as they have a far better grasp of reality than optimists.
Some people say that to be resilient you should be pessimistic. In that way you won’t be disappointed by what happens in your life.
The truth is that resilient people are more optimistic than pessimistic. They explain tough times and failures to themselves as things that happen to everyone and not just to them. In addition, they are better able to compartmentalise their experience of the adversity so that the bad things that happen to them have a limited effect and don’t negatively taint all of their life.
Having false optimism or being over-optimistic is of course dangerous and sets you up to be disappointed. Resilient people are realistically optimistic. Either influenced somewhat by luck of genes at birth or more probably by their own choice, they find hope and look for positive aspects in key situations they face. An important aspect of their optimism is that they have their feet on the ground and their positive outlook is grounded in reality — it’s not” pie in the sky” type of optimism that sets them up for later disappointment.
Now if you are by nature more pessimistic than optimistic, you may feel disheartened. The good news is optimism can be developed, and you can train yourself to be more optimistic than you are at the moment.