Myth 6: Resilience is enhanced by rigorously thinking about your problems and difficulties.
It is commonly believed that in order to solve a problem or deal with an unhappy situation, we need to thoroughly understand all aspects of it. The better we understand it the better we are able to deal with it.
Whilst this is certainly generally true in most situations, a specific myth about resilience has developed from it. The myth and misunderstanding is the belief and practice that frequent rehashing and rethinking about the circumstances and events of things that made you unhappy and lacking in resilience, will enable you to become happy and resilient. The problem is that very often this kind of thinking simply leads to reliving the problem in your mind, and bringing up the emotions associated with the problem, which results in experiencing the negative emotions and helplessness all over again.
This type of thinking pattern is called rumination. Rumination is the constant reliving of unhappy events and conversations and feeling the associated negative emotions. In rumination, one dwells on the problem and feelings rather than the solution. This approach can actually lead to increasing negative emotions and leads to downward spiralling of the thoughts and emotions.
Resilient people are able to quickly break out of negative spirals of thinking. This can be achieved by reframing the negative experience and then going on to what can be done to cope and deal with the adversity.
This is the last of the six myths of resilience. I hoped that you enjoyed reading about them!