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Work – life balance

How to deal with really difficult people

man-person-hand-lensWe all have to deal with really difficult people. Heated arguments make things worse. Keeping quiet makes you look like you agree or accept what is happening. Telling them how bad they are making you feel often triggers emotional outbursts from them.

What can you do to stand up for yourself against difficult people?

Fortunately there is a very useful four-step process that Marshall Rosenberg* has developed. He proposes you start by describing your observations of what the other person is doing. Then you state your feeling in relation to those observations. Then you state the needs you have that led to those feelings. Lastly you make a request of the other person to get what you want.

A parent for example might use this four step process with his teenager: “When I see you watching TV while the supper dishes are unwashed in the sink (that’s the observations), I feel irritated because you said you would do the dishes after supper (that’s the feeling). I need us as a family to honour the commitments we make (that’s the need from which feeling came). So I would like you to do them right now. Would you be willing to do that?” (that’s the request) Continue reading

How to let go of the past and move on

prison-1594946_1920We all experience disappointments, heartaches and setbacks. That’s an unfortunate part of life.

When overcommitted and overworked however, we become particularly vulnerable to reliving past regrets all over again. If this unpleasant rumination is not stopped, we easily get sucked into a downward spiral of negative thoughts and feelings.

If this happens to you, here are seven techniques to let go of the past and move on:

Continue reading

How to lead when people are in pain

pexels-photo-87584There is always pain in organisations. Some of it comes from organisational issues, such as leaders pushing boundaries and driving their teams hard or overwork or job insecurity.

Other sources of pain come from outside of the organisation and when people bring their emotions to work. This pain can come from personal issues (e.g. relationships; finances; health) or external social and physical issues (e.g. social disruption; violence; natural disasters).

Whether it has origins inside or outside the organisation, in any group of people at work, you can expect that there is at least one person in pain. Continue reading

Beat the Dark Side of Greatness: How to excel at work without losing your soul

id-10081666Achieving greatness at work

You work hard for success, recognition and greatness at work. You love the rush of firing on all cylinders, and being engaged and committed to your work. You naturally receive rewards and recognition …… which drives you to work even harder.

 The dark side of greatness

But ask yourself:

  • Does your success at work come with a heavy price in other areas of your life?
  • Are your powerful strengths also responsible for your worst failures?
  • Do you struggle to meet both work and home commitments?
  • Do you have little energy for life outside of work?

There is a dark side when the greatness achieved in one area of life comes at a significant cost in another. It may happen to high-flying executives who are so dedicated to their work that they become helicopter parents, disconnected from their children.  Or to a highly respected doctor who becomes emotionally distant in order to cope with suffering seen daily. Continue reading